Things change, only take me words for the moment. 

important tid bit

First I 'd like to acknowledge that these are pretty bad pictures, but this is my sister, Tara. She's eight years older than I am, lives in Hawaii, runs marathons, surfs, climbs mountains, waitresses, is more accident prone than I and is all around awesome. She's always been a role model for me; if I could be half the gold hearted, determined and independent woman she is some day, I'd be happy. Just thought I'd share a bit about her, since she was mentioned and will continue to be mentioned. Sister appreciation post <3

exed out?

Getting over someone is a process, it's something that takes time. These are things we all know, but actually going through the process and being patient through the time it takes you makes that sound like the most useless bit of information anyone could ever tell you, especially in an attempt to console you. But, it's true. 

I've always been proud to say that I could call up any of my exes just to chat, that I would consider most of them friends, but recently I'm not sure that's a good thing. The other night my sister and I were chatting about one of my exes- the one I live next door to- and she couldn't stand to hear me say that we're great friends. "That's bullshit," she said, "no one should ever be friends with their ex, there's a reason it started and a reason it's over," and I realized- she was right. 

I don't know if I could ever not be friends with neighbor ex, but there is a reason why we were together; we get along great, and talk for hours, have a bunch in common, are attractive individuals, blahblahblah, awesome. Then there are the reasons we ended it: it didn't work, our needs and wants aren't compatible blahblahfoundamentalrealtionshipshit. How am I ever supposed to get completely move on from the ache of being apart if we're still together- as friends? Now, don't get me wrong, I don't ache over our break up, I don't think more than friendly things when we're together, but does that mean I want him with other people? I don't know. Does that mean that I want to be the friend he talks to about other people? That I want other people? How can I be open to being with another person if this old person is still so present? 


I don't really have the answers to any of these questions, honestly. I do know though, that I do not want to be with neighbor ex. I do know that I am ready to be with someone else and that I am happy on my own. The rest above are just thoughts poured into my head by others, but worth thinking about, yeah? 

why a blog

Most times I feel like I'm just along for the ride and my life is just jerking me around doing whatever it wants and I get tugged from side to side along with it. I think it would be nice to have some sort of documentation, a sort of escape at times, a virtual diary, a place to put all of the wonderful things that happen to me in one place for the days when I feel hopeless and alone.